Oh you prickly evil plant....

I saw this plant today...

This evil....

horrid....

noxious weed...

This plant, thistle, was the worst part of my childhood. We would spend our summer days going out with loppers, garbage bags, and weed killer, and hitting the fields. We would have to lop off each purple head and put it in the bag. Then we'd have to chop it down to the roots and fill it full of weed killer. Over and over and over all summer. 

Oh yeah, we had 160 acres!!!

I swear, if we left just one plant, shoot, just one purple head, the whole field would blow up in purple by the next week. And then we'd lose another few years off our lives. 

I saw some today near my apartment, across the street. I drove by and immediately thought of those awful summer days when we'd have to carry those bags around--our hands sweating in the leather gloves that protected our hands--and walk all those feet of land. I swear, we'd walk back the same way we came and find a billion more plants.

So please Mr. Farmer, please chop down those plants and make them go away. You need to do it before I come do it. I don't want to do it, but I don't want to see them even more.