Friday, April 24, 2015

Everything has a season

I have the wisest friends. I'm forever grateful for and love all of my friends, but lately there have been so many examples of how much they love me in return.
I was feeling like a loser for only making it a week and a half at McDonald's. Ian can handle so much work and never complain. He's going to school, being a TA, working two jobs, and donating plasma. And doing homework.
I was reminded that there are people that thrive in the workplace and those that do better making their home a clean and spiritual safe haven. I love working at the daycare; it gives my day purpose. But the rest of my time I want to be making our home a place of refuge for him when he comes home from school and work. I don't want him to worry about if his clothes are clean or if there is food to eat or dishes to eat them on. 
Another friend wrote in her own blog, "it is ok to prefer being in someone's presence, and to be sad in the lack of that presence. I don't NEED him, he doesn't NEED me. But I prefer him, and I will continue to prefer his presence forever."
I have been so sad (even more so when I was working at McD's) that I couldn't just have 10 minutes to hold him. I very much need physical touch to know everything is going to be OK. It has made us evaluate how we spend our time together. We get caught up in playing on our phones or zoning out to Netflix before we head to bed. I'm not going to lie, we still are doing those things. But we are spending time just talking to each other before we pick our show.
I prefer Ian always. I know he prefers me. I'm so grateful he is so hard working. He is always going to take such wonderful care of our family. I am a whole person, but Ian fills in the gaps I didn't know I have. I believe I do the same for him. This is why we are meant to be together.

Saturday, February 7, 2015


It was our Valentine's day date today... Paying a deposit on a new apartment. Five years ago we spent Valentine's day planning our wedding, three weeks after we met. Today we spent our day planning the next 6-12 months of our lives before moving on to bigger and better things.
Ian and I have had some extremely blessed years together. We've been blessed with each other and with friends and family and jobs that have given us all the things we need and want. But now Ian's company is closing down so we are reorganizing our lives. Moving to a smaller apartment, looking for new work, and getting rid of excess baggage (in the form of furniture and stuff).
We've been blessed throughout every step of this journey, especially in the last two weeks since we've found stuff out.
While I'm writing this I'm laying on my queen size bed we've switched out from our king. The new place has 2 bedrooms... A small one and a very small one haha. We've been blessed with an extra bedroom that had held this extra bed. It's not the most comfortable but it will fit in the new place and we didn't need to buy it. I know (hope) because today we took newspapers and measured out our furniture and then laid out the paper and plotted our space. I'm so glad Ian went along with that idea today. It really helped me see what I needed to get rid of and realize what's really important.
We also bought new couches last summer because we felt like we had some permanence in our lives. Because we actually spent money on them we felt we have to move them to the new place. We are going to be cozy, but they'll fit.
I've got friends coming to pick up our old furniture and make it their own. I've got friends coming to help us move. I've still got my job and Ian still has his for the time being.
I really dislike change but I couldn't be happier than having Ian by my side. I know it could be so much worse but I'm grateful it's not.