Friday, April 24, 2015

Everything has a season

I have the wisest friends. I'm forever grateful for and love all of my friends, but lately there have been so many examples of how much they love me in return.
I was feeling like a loser for only making it a week and a half at McDonald's. Ian can handle so much work and never complain. He's going to school, being a TA, working two jobs, and donating plasma. And doing homework.
I was reminded that there are people that thrive in the workplace and those that do better making their home a clean and spiritual safe haven. I love working at the daycare; it gives my day purpose. But the rest of my time I want to be making our home a place of refuge for him when he comes home from school and work. I don't want him to worry about if his clothes are clean or if there is food to eat or dishes to eat them on. 
Another friend wrote in her own blog, "it is ok to prefer being in someone's presence, and to be sad in the lack of that presence. I don't NEED him, he doesn't NEED me. But I prefer him, and I will continue to prefer his presence forever."
I have been so sad (even more so when I was working at McD's) that I couldn't just have 10 minutes to hold him. I very much need physical touch to know everything is going to be OK. It has made us evaluate how we spend our time together. We get caught up in playing on our phones or zoning out to Netflix before we head to bed. I'm not going to lie, we still are doing those things. But we are spending time just talking to each other before we pick our show.
I prefer Ian always. I know he prefers me. I'm so grateful he is so hard working. He is always going to take such wonderful care of our family. I am a whole person, but Ian fills in the gaps I didn't know I have. I believe I do the same for him. This is why we are meant to be together.