Sunday, March 29, 2009

The goings on..

It's been a crazy week. But things are so good too! No regrets people, that's the only way to live.

I have so much due right now for school, that it's getting to the point that I just don't care. Which is bad. I know. But I haven't received a single grade for anything I've done in my english class, except for the little quizzes and submission points. But the papers, the meat of my class: nothing. So I have no idea how I'm doing. Which means I am doubting everything I have. Which is why I submitted a crap paper this time. It's too short for the requirements. It doesn't have enough sources. And the editing group seems split on whether they like it or not. But it's not worth it to me to stress about it anymore.

But my friends have all been so supportive of me. I love them all to pieces. I got really sick this last week, I'm pretty sure my uterus was going to just die. I have never been in so much pain in my entire life from cramps. I've only had cramps like twice....and this was awful. I'm pretty sure the stress of work, school, moving, and the stress of dating just took its toll. But I feel much better now, so yay!

Friday I realized just how cool I really am. Haha, that sounds a bit egotistical, but I promise you'll agree. Spencer and I have broken up. I have not cried. I have not been angry. I have not been hurt. When I was talking to him Friday night, I held my own. I said my peace and some of the things I said surprised me. I have "bounced back" really well. The hardest part of this whole thing is that since I have moved on so well, I don't want Spencer to think that I am glad we broke up or that I didn't really care when we were dating. He made me ridiculously happy. I giggled a lot haha, that's not really me. But I learned a lot from the relationship. I learned I need someone to say, "You look great!" when I don't. I need someone that will laugh at all my jokes, even when they're not that funny. I need someone that I can show off, and he loves it. I want someone to call or text me in the morning just saying, "Have a good day." Spencer did all of this at one point or another. And that's why I know I need it. Because those are the things that I remember and make me still smile.

But I also need someone that will tell me honestly how they feel when I ask. I'm not going to ask if I don't care. I snowball situations. I think the worse there can be when I don't know all the facts. It's something I need to work on, I know that. But at the same time, I need someone that understands that and works with me on that one.

But it's all good! Everything is going well. I'm going to be in Texas in like 11 days, California a few days after that, and then school will start in a new ward, new house, new summer.


  1. totally glad for the spencer update. really i'd wanting to call you and get all the details. i'm glad you are doing well, at least you got some kissing practice for your future hubby :). Love you.

  2. Dear Betharooni,
    You are amazing! I just wanted you to know that! The fact that you've been so emotionally stable this past week--ultimately cool. I'm sure the fudgsicles helped :) You're fabulous and I couldn't have picked a better person to be the same with :P
    Love Morganski

  3. Hey stranger! Sorry things with the boy didn't work out, but your hubby will be LOTS better trust me! I am proud of you for being so cool about it all! Where are you moving too? We still need to hang out! We will be here over the break, but it looks like you won't! Let me know when you get back and we will go have fun!

  4. Is it just me, or does paragraph 5 completely contradict paragraph 4? I mean, I am sorry you guys broke up, but I think I'm missing something. I'm sorry if this seems mean. I am just confused.

  5. Thanks everyone :) I love seeing new comments on my blog! And Diana, I don't see them contradicting each other, but maybe that's because I wrote it so I know what I mean. It was supposed to be a paragraph of the good things he did that I want in the next guy, and then the stuff that was lacking that I need in the next guy. Does that help? And it doesn't seem mean; if that gets me upset I've got bigger problems than I thought!

  6. Seriously, i LOVE you and I can't wait to see you in a couple weeks!!!

  7. yeah, my paper is still not submitted. really, it's because i have several sources that are testimonials and those people didn't get me the info until sunday. either way, i don't care. awful? not so much. i'd rather submit a descent paper then crap.
    glad things are going well!

  8. ok, i just realized that i might have sounded a tad bit snobby by saying "i'd rather turn in a ...." ha ha ha at this point i just need to turn in something!
    and by the way, i'm sure yours will be fine! the best thing we have going for us is it's end of semester and everyone is stressing out.
    ok, novela over.