It's been a crazy week. But things are so good too! No regrets people, that's the only way to live.
I have so much due right now for school, that it's getting to the point that I just don't care. Which is bad. I know. But I haven't received a single grade for anything I've done in my english class, except for the little quizzes and submission points. But the papers, the meat of my class: nothing. So I have no idea how I'm doing. Which means I am doubting everything I have. Which is why I submitted a crap paper this time. It's too short for the requirements. It doesn't have enough sources. And the editing group seems split on whether they like it or not. But it's not worth it to me to stress about it anymore.
But my friends have all been so supportive of me. I love them all to pieces. I got really sick this last week, I'm pretty sure my uterus was going to just die. I have never been in so much pain in my entire life from cramps. I've only had cramps like twice....and this was awful. I'm pretty sure the stress of work, school, moving, and the stress of dating just took its toll. But I feel much better now, so yay!
Friday I realized just how cool I really am. Haha, that sounds a bit egotistical, but I promise you'll agree. Spencer and I have broken up. I have not cried. I have not been angry. I have not been hurt. When I was talking to him Friday night, I held my own. I said my peace and some of the things I said surprised me. I have "bounced back" really well. The hardest part of this whole thing is that since I have moved on so well, I don't want Spencer to think that I am glad we broke up or that I didn't really care when we were dating. He made me ridiculously happy. I giggled a lot haha, that's not really me. But I learned a lot from the relationship. I learned I need someone to say, "You look great!" when I don't. I need someone that will laugh at all my jokes, even when they're not that funny. I need someone that I can show off, and he loves it. I want someone to call or text me in the morning just saying, "Have a good day." Spencer did all of this at one point or another. And that's why I know I need it. Because those are the things that I remember and make me still smile.
But I also need someone that will tell me honestly how they feel when I ask. I'm not going to ask if I don't care. I snowball situations. I think the worse there can be when I don't know all the facts. It's something I need to work on, I know that. But at the same time, I need someone that understands that and works with me on that one.
But it's all good! Everything is going well. I'm going to be in Texas in like 11 days, California a few days after that, and then school will start in a new ward, new house, new summer.